Rainydays and Sundays

abar bocchor tirish pore

2008-01-07T23:23:00.000+05:30

...was a bit of a disappointment. which is funny, considering i wasn't really expecting a lot from it. in fact, i wasn't even planning to go. and then mojo got hold of passes and we got all it doesn't make sense not to go when you have free passes, and so we went. i guess it was the general mismanagement and the obvious gimmicry that pissed me off.
the security guards at the gate were idiots, so there was a stampede because they'd open the gates for a few minutes and then shut them on your face and make you feel like you were gatecrashing. also, there were several more gates once you got in through the main gates, and they got the choicest duds to man them all. not their fault, i guess, but event management people should've planned it out better. the organisers/ event management people, if you ask me ,were a little confused. for instance, why would you get screens to project whatever is happening on stage? so that the people who're at the back and cannot see the stage, know what's going on, right? apparently not. because the screens were set at such a level that only people at front would be able to see the entire screen. flashing the lyrics as each song was playing was definitely a good idea, but i bet majority of the people could only see half of it, over the heads of the people who were seated.
i was however,very impressed by the punctuality with which they started the show because "punctuality" isn't very popular here.
the man with the pink beard was a little weird. he came across as something of a megalomaniac with MPD. You'd think he was Julius Caesar, the way he kept referring to himself in the third person.
the music was nice, i really liked the arrangements, but the sound wasn't so great, neither was the singing. quite a few of the singers seemed to be unable to harmonise, and one strived very hard to be heard above everyone else. somehow, i ended up feeling he was a little desperate. too eager to please, to make an impression. well, whatever.
the worst part was definitely the baul jazz bit. it was irreverent and nothing but a cheap trick. i mean, why would you do that at a Mohiner Ghoraguli tribute concert?? if it's a tribute concert, shouldn't it be about that person/band ?? why would you get some random people onstage to showcase their talent? there's a time and place for everything, and when i go to a Mohiner Ghoraguli concert i go with the hope of listening to their music, not dhaakis and "ashchhe bochhor abar hobe". the worst part is, most of the audience seemed to be rather taken in by it. now i know why musicians keep praising the calcutta audience...we're game for almost anything, there's nothing we love better than a hujug. play a little dhaak and kaanshor ghonta, shout out "ashchhe bochhor abar hobe" and we'll be happy and dance along!!!
while on the subject of gimmicks, let's not forget the actor who was called on stage to play the drums during "prithibi"! i'm told he's a decent drummer, and i'm sure he is...but wasn't the concert supposed to be about a pioneering band and their music rather than a talent show?
sure, we have excellent editors and bauls and percussionists and actors in the state, but this wasn't supposed to be about them dammit. surely,there are other platforms for showcasing all of that?why would anyone have to incorporate these in such a concert?
this, of course, brings me to the more difficult task of having to confront the bitter reality that, good music probably just isn't good enough to sell itself anymore...

tagged

2007-12-03T23:19:00.000+05:30

the march hare has struck again, this time with a painfully random tag, but bekar as i am, i shall oblige, and well.here goes-

Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
Rocky Mountain High ( John Denver)- pardon?

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Circle in the sand (Belinda Carlisle)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
No More Tears ( Ozzy Osbourne)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
She shook me all night long (AC/DC)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Making love out of nothing at all (Air Supply)-is this supposed to be a hint?

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Stand by me (Ben E King)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
What's my age again? (Blink 182)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Gloria( The Doors)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
this enigma song...i forget what it's called!

WHAT IS 2+2?
Careless whisper (George Michael)

DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I want to break free-oh my, he wont be pleased if he finds out now will he??

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Just another day (John Secada)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Mmmbop (Hanson)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Waiting for tonight (Jennifer Lopez)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
License to kill (Gladys Knight)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Listen to your heart (Roxette)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Music (Madonna) - hell yea!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Bad ( Michael Jackson)- lord, no!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Mission Impossible- theme

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
More than a woman (The Beegees)- OH MY GOD!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Coco Jambo (Mr.President) - ?

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Life is life (Opus)

i'm speechless! however, since i can still type, i tag guitar george,saptarshi,anwesha and moolah buzinezz.

2007-11-03T20:40:00.000+05:30

ok, so i'm in love. again. this time with a famous, married man. and yes, he's a musician. i don't get it, why am i so drawn to musicians? i keep falling for them-not as frequently as you'd think, but i'm very very attracted to them. hmm.
actually, maybe it isn't just about musicians, its about people who're some kind of artists.
well, more later, now i'm going to contemplate my hypothetical relationship with him.
tata!

2007-09-02T20:50:00.000+05:30

a certain post and the ensuing battle has led me to wonder.
why is it that certain people diss happiness or contenment so? is it because they don't have the ability to appreciate either? why should a person be (mis)judged by virtue of being happy? to me, it is what makes life worthwhile. why should someone have to defend the cause for reading Petrarch or Shakespeare or listening to the Doors or humming Rabindrasangeet? How does it make you superior if you spend all your time thinking about how doomed your nation is? what gives you the right to judge other people because you, for once have voiced your cynical pseudo intellectual angst regarding your nation?
i don't get morbidity. i really don't.
i don't get this entire generation of cynics who can do nothing better than write morbid poetry about lost loves, poverty, and the curse that is their lives, or even their country for that matter.
when will people learn to do something real? it is all very good to criticise and judge, but what people don't realise is that they themselves need to do something to change the state of things.
i wonder if any of these fantastic "critics" of ours will actually try and do something for the nation, like really do- not cite vague examples of "awareness through arts". don't get me wrong, i believe it can be done, but somehow i find it difficult to believe that our wonderful friends would do the same. they'll probably just sit there and crtiticise everything that comes along. would they take up jobs to serve the nation? no, but they'd advise people to do so nonetehless.
and call those who left "escapists".
at a more basic level, i wonder even how many of these people actually bother to vote?
political awareness, my foot.
all you can do is just sit there and lament the general state of affairs, and diss those who're better off than you, if only because they're happier.
either do something or shut up, because i don't think vague discussions about the "socio-politico-eceonomic state of India" can do anything for anyone.

2007-07-07T23:45:00.001+05:30

hmm. hmm. hmm. much to write about.
much i'd like to write about, but i don't think i can. its taking too much effort, and i'm very very confused.
i'm in love with several people, things. some of them are rather unlikely considering my past record with them. but then...
actually, i don't think i'm in love with several people, its probably like this admiration-attraction thing i sometimes have. yes, i'm sure that's what it is. shall we leave it at that? let's.
but i will talk about Rock Machine and how i love them.
you know Indus Creed? the first indian rock band that made it big? let me rephrase that, they were probably the biggest indian rock band ever-internationally.
well, these guys started off as Rock Machine, their first album was called Rock 'n Roll Renegade and released in 1988 (correct me if i'm wrong, considering i was probably just outta my nappies when it was released). the only thing i remember was hearing about them from my cousins and seeing a video when i was about ten. so i became all gung-ho when the boyfriend brought them up and downloaded this album( with the blessings of the dial-up god.)well, i've been listening to their first album, and WOW!
i'm not gonna say anymore, because i'm afraid i wont be able to do them justice in my current state of mind, but i love them. truly. they make me happy.
on a different note, i think i finally have a crush after 4 years. or a semi-crush, which is good too. so i have hypothetical conversations with A , and i sail on a happy cloud for a week every time we interact ( about once in 3 months and usually monosyllabic, but hey! that works for me!).
having said that, i'll go to bed now , because i'm sleepy and less confused and more composed and dreading the prospect of having to share my bed with a baby tiktiki. ( is this tiktiki mating season, btw? baby tiktikis seem to be all over the place, i've never seen so many. ever.
so that's it.
OK ***************************************************************************TATA
HORN***********************************************************************PLEASE
buri nazar wale tera muh kala

2007-07-02T21:29:00.000+05:30

i did a very grown up thing today. i actually drank hot coffee without scalding my tongue. how cool am i ?
however i almost scalded my tongue while gargling later, but then that's irrelevant.

Cough! Cough!

2007-07-02T21:25:00.000+05:30

Coughing can be addictive. coughs never come alone, they’re usually always followed by another one. Its probably not entirely natural, but sort of a semi conscious thing. Every time I cough, I tend to wonder and ponder about the state of my throat and the itchiness I feel, which results in a cough in the false hope that it’ll lessen the itch.
It doesn’t work.
On the other hand, if I ponder too much on it, then instead of giving vent to my second cough, it results in a (psychological?) throat ache. I think, okay, so I’m forcing myself to cough because I think it’s the natural thing to do, but it isn’t, so I will not cough a second time, then the second cough is held back, which leads to more thoughts on the subject and the resultant conclusion that the itch is still there in addition to which there is also a bit of a throat ache. Which subsequently leads to a forced cough, I mean what harm can a cough do? Besides it takes my mind off my sore, itchy throat for a few seconds, doesn’t it?
p.s. isn’t the word cough really ugly to look at? Doesn’t it remind you of horrible disgusting things when you play it over in your mind?
p.p.s. how do you express a cough in words? Like you say “ahchhooo!” for a sneeze, what would you employ to describe a cough? Huh? Huh? Huh?
p.p.p.s. however, bangla books usually describe a cough as "khawk khawk" or " khuk khuk"...

hi! i'm out...please leave your message after the beep.

2007-07-02T21:05:00.000+05:30

I’ve always wanted an answering machine. I’m not sure why, but its one of those things that have fascinated me since…well…cable tv and star plus and sitcoms happened. I suppose I thought there was something inaccessible and hence glamorous about it. I mean, which kid doesn’t want stuff which can usually only be seen on tv? I don’t remember where I first came across one, but they’ve been something of a wishlist thing. Like roller skates . or a trip to Disneyland (don’t ask me which one). Or driving around in my very own bright red sports car with the wind in my hair.
My first real life encounter with an answering machine must’ve happened when I was about 11 or 12. diya, one of my best friends at school ( this was the phase, when I had , not one, but four best friends, later, one of them turned out to be a bitch, another a geek, the third a slightly screwed up fashion victim, and the fourth, well, I can’t describe her as easily.) so anyway, I called up diya, and it was her answering machine which answered and it intimidated and fascinated me at the same time. Here was a real live ( not alive, but live) answering machine that commanded me to leave a message after the beep!! So freaked was I , that I couldn’t say a word but held on to the receiver in stunned silence. But later, having gotten over my initial fear, I managed to call back a few times just so I could hear the answering machine. Having said all this, I should probably add that inspite of my fascination, I don’t really like answering machines. Its difficult to explain, but I probably still haven’t been able to get over a machine that pretends to be human. Its illogical, I know but its kinda scary . I feel in some ways it threatens the human existence- it could be as dangerous as computers taking over the world and turning men into machines. Blessed with an over active imagination , I am.
At another level, i guess its my love of good ol' fashioned things that makes me wary of it. I don’t like answering machines for pretty much the same reason I prefer hand written letters over emails. There’s something very quaint and personal about letters which email can never be. In the same way, an answering machine seems to convert a person’s voice or expression into a purely, unemotional and mechanical message. Of course, they’re not even seeking to replace the telephone, merely to complement it, but there it is.

HaHaHa :-0

2007-05-29T17:38:00.000+05:30

excerpt from a conversation with my mother the other day-
Ma: O aykhon screw ante gyachhe, ekkhuni eshe lagabe...
Me:*raised eyebrows,suppressed giggle* Oh, achha. *angelic smile*

right, so i'm hoping you're done smirking and i'll tell you the context now, you perverse freaks.
the conversation was about our carpenter who'd gone to buy screws for the new bookcase that was being built.

here's another one,
i have a friend who can be rather shy when talking about matters related to sex. he freaked when i first spoke to him about blowjobs and although he isn't as reserved as he used to be, he's still cautious, and chooses his words with care.
while engaged in a serious discussion on bestiality the other day, he goes on to describe what others might simply have referred to as "climax" or " orgasm" with the following words:
"peak of the pleasure time".

tata bye bye. abar jyano dyakha pai.

2007-05-26T17:24:00.000+05:30

hungry. hot. sweaty. kinda sleepy. alone. pissed off. bored.restless. reading blogs. envious. a little sad. pissed off again. lazy.
there are a lot of things i could and should be doing, but the heat and lyad have caught up with me. it's funny how little i read nowadays. and a little sad too, but then, currently i can't be bothered about changing that. i'd like to, yes. but i don't think i will.
got a shit load of stuff to do. like important stuff which i've been postponing for ages, but then again, there's lyad.
since i've tired myself out typing out these few measly lines, i'm gonna stop here. and go eat.
and later, it'll be orkut and pondering on how small the world really is.
enjoying summer people?

lazy happy me :-)

2007-05-09T18:52:00.000+05:30

A lazy lazy day…
but not really an uneventful one –
watched a movie, (yay! I was actually all dressed and ready to go-bath included-within an hour of waking up!)
finished reading a book, which led to some serious contemplation and stuff I intend to write about, but which I’d rather shove into the farthest corner of my brain.( human brains don’t have corners, do they ? what do they have anyway? Borders?)
… and a happy happy one. I realize I might sound like a giggly teenager, but I can’t help it. I am just that happy. As happy as when i watch mushy movies and go awww…in the end, or spend a day catching up with schoolfriends or listening to the best friend talk utter nonsense for 2 hours nonstop, or with the boyfriend doing the stuff I never imagined I would...
So right now, I’m listening to my favourite happy song and wondering what I could do with the rest of the evening. I can’t study- for the simple reason that the next exam’s a week away, and the book I read is supposed to be study material anyway.
I feel like the way I do when it rains all day and the air always smells of damp earth, or when I got drenched while rowing –and the boys from the next boat jumped off into the lake and started splashing about, or when we went for completely unplanned but absolutely wonderful drives or when we all listened and sang along to rabindrasangeet while driving down completely unknown roads in almost unknown parts of the country at dusk, or like the time when we were at shankarpur and the lights went out as soon as we returned to the hotel from the beach so we were greeted by a starry starry sky.
New realization, I’m not making sense, but do I care?
Just spoke to the oldest friend and she’s agreed to come over, she wants to go for a walk, I wanna go up to the terrace and smoke, we’ll probably end up doing both and being all contemplative and sad and happy and “I love you-ey” at the end of the evening, but for now, let this suffice.

“tui gaan ga, ichhemoto
batash ke khushi kore baanch…”

2007-05-07T12:31:00.000+05:30

why is it that we hurt most those whom we love best?
does that make sense? probably not. not at my coherent best right now, but then again, i'm not even particularly coherent at the best of times.
is it like something Sharadindu once said in one of his short stories? i believe the context was Mahadeb leaving Uma (or Parvati, was it?). the narrator in conversation with a young girl, said in response to her question, Hoyto uni Umake koshto debar lobh shamlate parenni...

is it a bird? is it a plane? no, it's a flying table mat!!!

2007-05-04T22:28:00.000+05:30

different people are afraid of different things. and a great number of people are afraid of things which fly. sonai is afraid of moths and butterflies, doesn't matter how small or pretty they are, she is shit scared of them. deep is afraid of cockroaches-more so when they fly.
doyeeta is pretty much afraid of all kinds of flying insects. its quite fascinating really, if you're around her- you get to see her throw the most amazing tantrums. but anyway, this post is going to be about mum-and her fear of flying mats. yes, you saw that right-mats!
you might be wondering if i'm talking about flying carpets and maybe my mother is afraid that they'll take over the planet? no, not really. she's scared of table mats-the ones that fly.
here's how it goes, my mum -like most of the mothers i know, is a bit of a neat freak and yes she suffers from OCD too. so every night , after dinner, once the plates have been taken away, she begins this mad dash to ensure none of the mats fly away. if she's lucky, and noone's in the dining room, then my dad helpfully switches of the fan. however, if my grandmother's still in the dining room( she usually enjoys contemplating life as she sits at the table post-dinner), then my mother goes about performing her preventing- mats- from- flying away ritual. first , she carefully puts away her own plate, while placing her glass on the mat. then, as i put the rest of the plates away, she makes sure she places some thing on each mat to prevent it from flying away, then, she puts away the rest of the stuff from the table. finally, once the rest of the table is cleared up, she cautiously removes whatever-thing-it-is-that- keeps-the-mat-in-place and wipes the mat(s). once that's done, peace ensues in the dining room. until then, its my mother running around in circles , trying to keep the mats from flying away, and saving the enitre dining room from the wrath of the evil that is "eNto"!!!

2007-05-03T21:26:00.000+05:30

ok. sorry about crazy ranting. won't do that again, unless i'm really really mad(which shouldn't happen for a week-atleast). a brief conversation with sensational has led me to believe that
i) either the post about my crazy aunt was really bad,
or,
ii) i shouldn't be bitching about such stuff on my blog.
since i'm too proud to admit to the first one, i'll just stop ranting. period.

tagged by the oldest friend!!

2007-05-02T20:55:00.000+05:30

so, i've been tagged,by the oldest friend too, so me can't ignore it. probably wouldn't have anyway, don't have much to do right now, and writing about crazy aunts and arranged marriages does take its toll on you.

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it:
one on my left arm, little above the wrist, i was hurrying to answer the phone. slipped on the floor , fell and banged my arm against the door.
2. What is on the walls in your room?
green and white paint. dust. a softboard.
3. What does your phone look like?
i dunno. a phone?!
4. What music do you listen to?
all kinds of stuff..rock,jazz,blues, country, bengali folk,hindi stuff, rabindrasangeet...hindusthani classical.haven't heard much western clasical yet.
5. What is your current desktop picture?
river valley. does that make sense? it should've been a valley, but its got a river in it.
6. What do you want more than anything right now?
to get this over with.
7. Do you believe in gay marriage?
sure , why not? if straight marriages work...
8. What time were you born?
really early in the morning... 2:50 am i think.
9. Are your parents still together?
yep. surprising how strangers make a successful relationship out of an arranged marriage!
10. What are you listening to?
not. wondering what i might listen to...
12. The last person to make you cry?
don' t remember. me, i guess. chemical locha happens in the brain sometimes. bit of a paranoid freak, aren't i?
13. What is your favourite perfume/cologne?
oh! good timing!! realized yesterday that i like christian dior in general.
and yea, in true brat style, davidoff-cool water. and aspen on the boyfriend.
14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?
brown ? black? usually don't like fair haired men...does it matter?
15. Do you like pain killers?
no. hate them . and every other kind of pill too. can't swallow them, don't like 'em.
16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
shy, or sly?
17. Fave pizza topping?
ham, pepperoni, chicken. lots of meat basically.
18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
umm... food?
19. Who was the last person you made mad?
probably the boyfriend, or maybe anannya. poulomi's too nice to be mad at anyone.
20. Is anyone in love with you?
i'd like to think so, but go find out for yourself.

i tag bimbo and deep.

Not morbid

2007-04-26T12:06:00.000+05:30

i'm not a morbid person. it doesn't turn me on, i don't get my kicks out of it either. in fact, it repels and disgusts me. i hate it when people go on and on about the angst of a lonely life and the anguish of byartho prem. i mean what's the deal with "oh..he left me...", " i'm in such pain...", "i spend sleepless nights thinking about him...", " i think i'll slit my wrists...", " i can't bear to face the world without him..." what the fuck is the deal with that? and what is the point of writing sick poetry which haunts and constipates all those who read it? i mean, if you can't deal with your existential problems, don't try to kill other people by making them read your poetry. yuck.
life is beautiful. whether you have a boyfriend to flaunt or not. and people have enough issues of their own to be reading morbid poetry about "beronga jibon" by weird wannabe bengali poets. seriously. get a grip and move on. or kill yourself.
anyway, enough ranting for now, to move on to the thought that inspired all the angsty ranting on my part, and which i will defend, because its not about morbidity, or about wallowing in depression or manic depressiveness. it's just a simple, if slightly weird and depressing thought that came to my mind while i was taking a crap this morning.(phew)
this is it: you can't fight the past or the memeories, but you can't bury them either.
bah. how i ramble.

the irony of it all...

2006-06-05T19:40:00.000+05:30

life is funny. its full of these little ironies which spring at you...sometimes they shock you out of your wits, at some other times, they just make you smile...the latter is applicable to me.
i love ironies.they`re bizarre , hence amusing.
case I: a friend liked a certain somebody. it wasn`t a crush or anything, she just liked him. she is currently dating one of his(certain somebody`s) oldest friends.

case II: i didn`t want to meet my boyfriend the first few times when he asked me out because...well..i thought he was a rapist. ( i can`t help it. i have an infernal fear of rapists.)

case III: Ragini is dating Arunava.(Anwesha, back me up on this one.)

case IV: Guppy is in a committed relationship. this, from the guy who said he wouldn`t settle before 50...umm, you know what.

case V: there, isn`t a case V, i`m only making this up because i like 5 and its multiples.
my uncle filed for divorce in the very first year of his marriage, got back with his wife in the second, and filed for divorce 8 months later.

if only my mum would smoke up, and dad would start cooking!!!

2006-06-05T19:27:00.000+05:30

"hello blog! how are you?
i realise it's been a while since we last met.
no, i wasn`t mad at you or anything.
honest. I Really wasn`t mad at you.
it's just that i was kinda busy, caught up with my exams and all y'know....
what? you don't believe me?i should come clean?
fine..i'll tell you the truth..i suppose i was just going through one of my phases, felt like i didn`t belong..here, in blogsphere, or is it blogosphere? see, i'm not too clear about that either!
but don`t worry, i'm back now, hopefully for good.
of course, i have to be honest with you. you can`t count on me to be around All the time, but even if i take a break , i'll come back, i promise i will..."

2006-05-19T14:40:00.000+05:30

Abrupt and meaningless?
"present please!"

Feelin' groovy....

2006-05-19T14:29:00.000+05:30

feelin' groovy.....not in a dictionary defined or Simon and Garfunkel kind of a way.....but in my own half-crazy yippeee hippie way....
sort of happy, but not yippeee..kinda indifferent, but not towards the whole wide world, sorta loving and hating my oldest friend at the same time, and inevitably hating myself for hating her!
wanna lock myself up and get my groove back..not the groove i`m into now, but the kinda groovy i used to be....

2006-04-12T21:42:00.000+05:30

baal chher sala. that`s how i feel...see, there`s the feel thing again.
am i turning into a hypersensitive person, or what? i feel like screaming out those three words accompanied by the guitar riffs in "kashmir"....

2006-04-12T21:34:00.000+05:30

i`m feeling typeative today.
and i`ve realised that i`m starting all my posts with a "i`m feeling..."
yuck. whatever.
so anyway, i`m grumpy. i wanna scream and bite( kamre debo!). i wanna let off some steam.i wanna kiss.
"lowe" is in the air, and i don`t like it. i don`t like it one bit.i don`t like bumping into mushy couples all over the campus. i don`t like the sight of people holding hands on the street. and i don`t like people pretending its not a big deal for them to be in love, when it actually is.
bah. weird freaks.

2006-04-12T20:49:00.000+05:30

i`m feeling a little mindfucked and utterly exasperated right now. my computer is weird piece of techonology which i cannot make sense of. it is confusing and messier than my room.aaaaaaarghhhhh!!
bhal lagchhe na!!!
i thought computers were supposed to make life easier.....?!
p.s.the ear incident: while in the shower today, i noticed that my ears looked a little smaller.

2006-03-11T11:47:00.000+05:30

i think i`m drifting into my anti-social phase again...barring a few, i don`t really like the people around me. they`re either pretentious, or wannabes. how about accepting who you are , for a change?
i don`t get it. why do most people live in denial(of who they really are, what they really like, what they actually want to be) when acceptance makes things infinitely simpler?
maybe , Shorit was right after all....or maybe he was just trying to defend all the people who are lost in a masquerade.....

2006-03-07T22:37:00.000+05:30

thought from two days ago( after watching half of DOORS-the movie)as it flashed across my mind: if i were born forty years earlier, i would probably have been a groupie!

this one`s for the teletubby!!

2006-03-07T22:05:00.000+05:30

okay, lemme start by saying that i don`t really believe in "perfect"..as in , i do, but then its kinda relative.
also, please don`t blame me if my blog eats up this post...its rather fond of eating stuff typed out by me.
here goes.
i`d like my perfect man to -
1. be fun to be with and someone i can talk to..
2. reciprocate my feelings for him, but i don`t want him to be completely predictable..
3.have interests similar to mine...like reading( Has to read english and bangla,don`t ask me why, but it matters to me. a LOT!) and listening to music and travelling ( i think i might have to make a few allowances for the last one..)
4. umm.....hmmm.....uhhh...well.....should be weird enough to appreciate my quirks...
5. decent social skills( he`d better not turn into a bumbling idiot around my parents!!). however, i don`t want someone who spends more time talking to my grandfather than to me...
6.romantic yet practical...( roses are fine on valentines day... but i don`t want Subodh!! )
7. be honest, i hate liars, actually, maybe not liars, cause i do like some ppl(heck! how do i get rid of the italics? arrgh!!) inspite of knowing that they lie..but i DO NOT like lies. no sir.
8. independent. not clingy, should respect my space and be able to let me be, when i wanna be...

P.S- now that i`ve made this public, readers are requested to notify me, in case they find someone who fits the bill!!

2006-02-14T20:09:00.000+05:30

i`ve

My blog and me..

2006-01-14T19:43:00.000+05:30

My Blog hates me. So does my internet connection.i don`t really blame the latter, because i`ve been using a free version of the BSNL connection for a few months now and so they have every right to.i am reaping the advantages without paying up. i`m probably some kind of a parasite..i remember a friend once caling me an E colli,( is E colli a parasite?)
As for my Blog, i do`nt see why it should hate me, but it certainly does , beacuse it starts acting funny everytime i finish typing and am about to post it...i mean this is like MY BLOG!! it has absolutely no right to hate me, come to think of it, it wouldn`t evevn have been here if it hadn`t been for me!! It`s almost like me hating my parents, but then they impose curfews on me, and make me socialise with my ancient relatives during Bijoya...i haven`t done either with my blog...maybe its just one of those disobedient types...

2006-01-01T18:41:00.000+05:30

so it`s a new year.i don`t feel much different though, actually, i don`t feel any different. yesterday was fun though..got high....like really really High. and it felt wonderful...i remember we were sitting in doyeeta`s baranda,singing songs, smoking..and i could swear i was in heaven...things didn`t really make a lot of sense then, but i liked it that way..the only hitch was that i desperately missed someone.and of course i drove anc nuts by consistently telling him just how much i missed that person...anc and arunava were absolute angels to put up with all my crap. i`ve decided that i`m gonna post a blog about arunava someday...
this is it.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to anc and my oldest friend and yea, arunava.

2005-12-09T17:02:00.000+05:30

i`m an extremist.this isn`t a random thought..but the result of many random thoughts....

of missed calls and strange music

2005-12-05T12:44:00.000+05:30

been reading other people`s blogs and i was quite enjoying it , until i realised that i sort of made me feel like a voyeur..but then i went on reading their blogs anyway...suddenly heard scary music while surfing and reading Srin`s blog and got really freaked!! more so, because i had a page on Kubla Khan open somewhere ...felt like i was having an opiate dream...if only.... i`m still confused about the strange music though...
just realised that i hate it when my friends give me missed calls...it`s distracting and annoying...i give them missed calls too..when i`m bored, but i think they enjoy it, considering i`ve been confronted when i did not return their "missed" calls.
but whatever.
oh no..the cycle has started!!! i`ve just received my second missed call in five minutes!!!!! wonder how long this is gonna continue???
yuck!!
and now i`ve been confronted by D for sending him a freaky sms...jeeez......what`s wrong with me? i seem to be screwing everything up....

umm....

2005-11-05T12:22:00.000+05:30

it`s one of those days again...i`m feeling sorta numb..probably from crying too much last night...i`ve been going through one of my "depressive phases" as my friends like to call it ...i dunno what gets into me at times like these..i feel like crap...life isn`t making a lot of sense( it never did..but now it`s worse...so much worse...) my mum`s pissed at me...most of my friends from school seem to have vanished into thin air..surely, it hasn`t been that long..i mean it`s only been 6 months since i left school and i`m starting to wonder if they`ll recognise me if we bump into each other on the street...i know i`m being stupid, but i don`t seem to be able to help it....atleast i made up with soumya last night... spoke to him after ages last night , and it felt real good..i guess it`s people like him who make life worth living..and sonai...she`s been a real help...acting like a shrink and offering me chocolate everytime i was feeling low.....
i thought things would be better this morning..but they`re not..i mean ..they are in a way..because i seem to be completely unaware of what`s going on around me..it`s like looking at your own life like it`s someone else`s...i don`t think anything can really disturb me right now..but maybe , all it`ll take is one phonecall to make me cry again...what really bugs me is that i`m unable to work out a solution...and i don`t think i will be either..i`m really not good at handling these things..anyway....whatever....

Bacon and Top Ramen

2005-10-25T22:54:00.000+05:30

Top Ramen with bacon does not taste good. Sunfeast pasta with bacon does.
Sonai should be so proud of me now that i`ve started blogging..